Today is one of those days when I am quite angry of myself because I am still allowing my fears to control my life and behavior. I still have a problem defending my opinion and expressing things important to me. From one point I am trying to be peacemaker even if I see sometimes IContinue reading “10.12.2018 = Compromising”
Tag Archives: fears
05.12.2018 = Practice
I have recently started to notice that my practice of speaking up and just doing things which have made me really uncomfortable for many years has been finally working. To finally starting to believe in results and seeing that I can overcome myself has taken me over 1 year and it is definitely an ongoingContinue reading “05.12.2018 = Practice”
Reactions
The chaos inside me for now has been decreased and silenced. However, still some rushing thoughts remind me of those days. And so my rational thinking is stepping in and I am being able to better evaluate my behavior and to decrease irrational fears. It also helps better keep calm before speaking up for myselfContinue reading “Reactions”
Frozen
Fear – one part of my body which is always there. If not active it waits for that trigger moment to attack. Fear – it is starting with a racing heart, hard breathing, heavy feeling in my chest area, shaky hands and just feeling hopeless. Like it will never end and there is no wayContinue reading “Frozen”
How far is too far?
How far is too far? When should I say stop it is enough – this is your borderline. I am wondering about this last few months when I started to feel overwhelmed because of how much I was trying to change myself to overcome my fears and set myself free. Somehow I felt more and moreContinue reading “How far is too far?”
The Body Keeps the Score
I am currently finishing an amazing book which has helped me to understand better why I am the way I are. Why I have some parts of me which I would like to forget and leave it in a past – fearful, silent and closed. At some point sometimes too fearful that I am not able toContinue reading “The Body Keeps the Score”
Rules of mind
It is quite fascinating how a persons mind can play with feelings, understanding oneself and the perception of the outside world. How mind can make build walls inside a person to protect from certain situations, people and oneself. And while living like that it is almost impossible to convince the mind to give a break andContinue reading “Rules of mind”
Somewhere in between
I feel like I am somewhere on the way up but I am struggling to move forward. I just feel like I am somehow stuck in myself and not being able to completely get out of my old thinking way. To get out of my prison of not trusting myself, doubting and fearing if I will make theContinue reading “Somewhere in between”
The Light
You’ll achieve your aims when you leave the darkness behind, and agree to become the light. If my mind has decided to become the light but my heart still is locked in fear and hiding behind the darkness. When there are no big changes coming my way I somehow keep a bit above the darknessContinue reading “The Light”
Speaking up
Yesterday I thought I had enough push to speak up for myself and ask for some explanations. I thought I am well prepared and I knew the things I will say and how I will argument my reasons. I promised myself that until my 30th birthday I will be treating myself much better and basicallyContinue reading “Speaking up”
Livia via life 